Yes, They're Twins, No, You Can't Hold Them

Babies are a natural attention grabber. Ask any new parent and they will tell you that any time they leave their house they get stopped by at least one person commenting on their baby, asking how old they are, or even reaching out a hand to try and touch the child (WHY? really, just stop please. I don't know where that hand has been but I'm sure it's nowhere good or clean).

Now multiply that by about 267 and you will have the number of times that you're stopped when you have twin babies.

I have fraternal twins. They are very obviously fraternal. I think astronauts could tell from space that they are fraternal. First, one is a boy and one is a girl. Second, my son is about 20 percent bigger than my daughter (literally, I did the math and everything). Third, their face shapes are completely different. So besides being white babies, they don't look the same. Nevertheless I get asked at least once a week if they are identical. After, of course, being asked if they're twins.

Now I realize that people are dumb. Or at least their mouths move faster than their brains (I try to think the latter if I'm in a more generous mood). My mom used to be asked if my sister and I were twins and I'm two years older and a few inches taller than she is. But for goodness sake people, THINK.

I have also been asked how the delivery was. Once again by complete and utter strangers. I'm as willing to share my delivery story in excruciating, gory detail as the next mom, but I'm not about to discuss how long I pushed for, whether or not I had an epidural (a topic for another post), or what degree tear I had, with people who I didn't know existed 30 seconds earlier.

Probably the most invasive, most personal, and most ridiculous question I get asked is whether I got pregnant with them naturally. Seriously. I have been asked this no less than 10 times. By people I have never met before. Now, sidestepping the sheer audacity of asking a stranger that question, what does it even mean? Are they asking if I took fertility medication? Did I do IVF? I get very tempted when asked this question to nonchalantly respond, no, I had sex. And then walk away. (In my imagination I pull my sunglasses on as I walk away in slow motion and their heads explode behind me). I think they ask this to prove to themselves that I somehow caused the twins to happen and therefore, if they don't do that specific thing, they won't have twins (or the inverse if they're a crazy person who wants twins). The followup question is usually whether twins run in the family. No, they do not. TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT SUCKER!

Probably the most frustrating part, even beyond being forced to converse about personal topics with strangers, is that this NEVER happens to my husband. Sigh.